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Can we really have it all … an exceptional career and a happy family?
That was my question. As a 1992 graduate of the Air Force Academy (and self-proclaimed superwoman), I was certain I could, and would, indeed have it all. I wanted both a successful career and a great family. In 2005, after transitioning into one of the most rigorous positions in my civilian career, I started to wonder. Is there such a thing as work-life integration? Can harmony really exist between the two?
I was addicted to my six figure salary and the potential Vice President position within my reach, but I was drowning in my work with no time left for my family … no time for my husband, my daughters or even me. My husband is an A-10 pilot in the Air Force and we found ourselves performing a juggling act best left for the circus. Our daughters, then ages five and three, spent extended time before and after school in someone else’s care. They ate breakfast in the car on the way to school. My husband and I heavily debated who could afford to miss work when one of them was sick. We ran errands on the weekends, leaving little time for fun family activities. We were in a vicious cycle with no end in sight. I got my haircut during my lunch, rarely went out with friends or had date nights with my husband. I was becoming the cliché I feared and began to develop the “guilty working mom’s syndrome”. In my heart, I just knew there had to be a way to have “it all”.
I wanted a better life… I knew I deserved a great life. Yet, I started to feel lost, disconnected … like I didn’t fit in anywhere. I did not want to continue my life in Corporate America where I felt I was trading my time for money; yet occupying my days by the sandbox on the playground left something to be desired as well. I wasn’t ready to forego my income, the interaction with adults, and the challenges that accompany achieving professional goals and objectives. I wanted to put my talents to use without making the huge family sacrifices I had made in the past.
I suppose I am not alone in wanting to have my cake and eat it too. Many of my friends and associates recount similar experiences and express a yearning to take better control of their lives. Sometimes we felt as if we were in a catch-22 situation, made to feel less by critics if we chose to stay home to raise our children given our educational backgrounds and leadership skills; or being labeled as selfish by others if we had the privilege of having the option to be stay-at-home moms, but chose instead to work full time.
To take control of my life, I decided I needed to become a business owner. I had two options: starting my own business or purchasing a franchise. My main decision criterion was that I did not want a business that owned me. I wanted a smart business ... a business with no employees, no liability and no overhead or space I needed to rent. I wanted a business where I could determine the hours I worked, where I worked, and with whom I worked. I wanted a business where I could develop a long term residual income. Most importantly, I wanted a business that I could teach to others so they could create the same life I envisioned for myself and my family.
I elected to begin a new career as an Independent Consultant with an international skin care company and have never looked back. Today I am building a multi-million dollar business with a flexible schedule and a salary I have always dreamed about. I am fully present in my husband and daughter’s lives and have found the harmony I was so desperately seeking.
I challenge you to ask yourself if you are living the life you have imagined and dreamed. I implore you to change course if you are on the same path that I was traveling; living day to day only to realize that in 18 short summers my children would be grown and their youth would have passed me by. If anything in this article resonates with you, I encourage you to make a decision to live beyond mediocrity and to design an incredible life lived in harmony. In taking a few brave steps to regain control of my life, I finally discovered it is possible to have it all!
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