To Your Health: Eliminating Tolerations

Tolerations are those subtle energy drains and time wasters, the things you tolerate on a daily basis. They are usually minor inconveniences, like the blown light bulb in your bedroom or a personality conflict with a coworker. However, the time and energy you spend in tolerating these things builds up over time, slowly draining you and limiting your effectiveness and overall happiness.

Once you get these tolerations handled, you will be amazed at the new time and energy that will become available to you. You'll discover that you're better able to establish and maintain healthier boundaries. Doing this is well worth whatever time and effort it takes.

Your goal is to put up with less and less. As you experience the joyful benefits of a toleration-free lifestyle, you'll begin eliminating tolerations automatically, handling them immediately when they start to emerge.

HOW TO GET STARTED
To begin on your path towards your new, toleration-free lifestyle:

STEP 1: Make a list of the 50-60 people, problems, and/or situations you are currently tolerating in your work or home environment.

Include the very tangible things, like the annoying pile of papers on your dining room table, to the more abstract, like relationships that irritate you to no end. Your list should include ongoing complaints, especially the things you've put up with for so long that you barely even notice them anymore. Perhaps the constant drip from your bathroom faucet? The torn screen on the patio? A cluttered purse or email inbox? Or maybe the slow processing speed on your computer? Do you have a so-called friend who never returns phone calls?

Nothing is too trivial for your list.
In reality, it's the small, seemingly inconsequential things that steal your time that otherwise could be spent more productively.

Some people find it helpful to list tolerations by categories, such as home, work, family, computer, community, personal attitudes, habits, etc. Others go room-by-room through their homes, making notes. Write everything down, even if you have no clue how to fix, solve, or resolve anything. Have faith. Solutions will emerge.

Learn to "step over" nothing!

Don't be surprised if over time you become less willing to take on new tolerations. Such is the power of pure awareness.

GROUP, PRIORITIZE AND MAKE YOUR ACTIONS TIMEBOUND
Wondering where to start?

STEP 2: Look for pivotal tolerations; Those things that, once handled, will eliminate several other items on your list.

For example, it may pay in the long run to buy a new car instead of new tires, a new muffler, and a new transmission to pass inspection this year.

STEP 3: Prioritize.

Designate urgency levels for each toleration.

For example, consider designating all items that are really bothering you as a level one priority or perhaps you can designate all items that would take less than 20 minutes to handle as a level two priority. Or make everything that can be resolved by spending a few dollars into a level three priority, so you can more easily determine the total cost of getting all those items handled.

STEP 4: Set your goals. Assign a due date for completion for each toleration on your list.

Be committed to taking care of each item on your list within a SPECIFIC time period. Assign each task a due date. Make sure your due dates are REALISTIC. Remember, you won’t be able to eliminate all of your tolerations overnight…but be sure to make forward progress each week by eliminating tolerations from your list! Once you've handled a toleration, check it off your list.

CELEBRATE EACH SUCCESS

Don’t forget to celebrate each success or milestone. Your rewards do not have to be big. They can be as simple as buying yourself fresh cut flowers to replace the pile of papers you eliminated from your dining room table or treating yourself to your favorite movie. Set your goals and determine what your rewards will be for various levels of accomplishment.

STEP 5: Reward and reinforce positive behaviors!!!

Just make sure your rewards don’t sabotage any tolerations that exist on your list. (i.e., If one of the tolerations on your list is your lack of physical conditioning, don’t reward yourself with a gallon of creamy triple fudge ice-cream for cleaning out the garage!)

TIPS FOR GETTING LASTING RESULTS

OK, so you’ve eliminated tolerations from your list. How do you keep them off or prevent new tolerations from sneaking up on you?

Try to determine the source of your tolerations.
How did the toleration get there in the first place?

Pay attention to how often and to what you agree to spend your time doing. Consider that at least some percentage of your tolerations started with a simple "Yes." Instead of being quick to add tasks, accommodate, and reschedule your life to please another … learn to say, "No, thank you."

Learn to say: “No, thank you.” Ask for what you need.

Sometimes mustering the courage to tell the truth about a situation helps it get handled permanently. Maybe you just need to admit that you hate yard work, and hire someone else to do it.

You might decide to stop complaining and to make strong requests instead, like "This is what I need." Or “I need help with…” Refuse to take on projects that fail to deliver almost immediate satisfaction or projects that pull you away from achieving your goals. Is there a bad habit you're unhappy about? Choose to stop the habit or resolve to get help in order to do so ... Right now. You can do it!

Use technology to keep you on track!

There are many creative ways to use your electronic devices to work on your list of tolerations. Consider creating a "Tolerations" category in your To-Do List in Outlook, Online Calendars, Excel, phone or other PDA device. Designate “urgency levels”, and consider adding a due date for each item to keep you on schedule.

THE COST OF SUCCESS
Yes, there are potential costs to removing tolerations from your life. For one thing, you may initially mourn the loss of the adrenaline that comes from excessive activity. You may grieve as you let go of relationships that have previously consumed all of your energy. Start with the small, easy tasks to get a feel for how to use your new energy.

The good news is that when you create space in your life,
new and precious opportunities emerge almost effortlessly.

Begin NOW!!!!. How long is your list of tolerations? What benefits did you notice after handling a few of them? How great is your life becoming?

Get these tolerations handled and an entire new source of time and energy will become available to you. Your life will become easier, more simple, comfortable, and fun.

Source: Kimberly Bryant, Improve Your Life by Tackling Tolerations, PC Life Magazine, July 2000.