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I grew up in a large military family. By the time I was in high school I knew I wanted to follow in my father’s footsteps as a career Army officer. My brother and I both attended West Point and graduated together in 1995. My brother continues to serve as an Infantry officer and I often wonder where I would be had I stayed in.
While I loved the Army and excelled as a junior officer, my military experience was colored by the fact that the federal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” statute governing military service by gay Americans like me, forced me to lie to my fellow soldiers about my sexual orientation. I played what I think of as “the pronoun game” when asked about my significant other. I maintained an empty apartment to keep up the charade, so people would not know I actually lived with my partner. I remember my homecoming from Kosovo: while other soldiers met their families as soon as they landed, I drove home alone so that my partner could welcome me home out of the sight of my uniformed colleagues. For two years I made myself miserable as I tried to reconcile the happiness I had finally found in my personal life when I met my partner, with the Army I loved and the career I had chosen. I chose to leave the Army in 2000 because I could not continue living a lie.
Over 11,000 otherwise qualified soldiers have been dismissed since Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was passed. Those numbers don’t take into account soldiers like me who manage to complete their service obligations, but choose not to continue their military service because of the difficulties “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” imposes. I am proud of my service and would have continued serving. But the toll of keeping my life secret was too great. It is a choice many talented soldiers have had to make. For this reason and many more, I believe it is time to end Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and to allow lesbian, gay and bisexual service members to serve with dignity and honesty.
I became involved with Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) 2 years ago, as a means of contributing to the growing momentum toward repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” SLDN is a non-profit organization in Washington, DC, that provides free legal services to men and women impacted by “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” and is leading the national effort to repeal this discriminatory and wasteful law.
There are many ways that you can help SLDN bring about this important change. One of the best ways you can help is by joining SLDN on March 26, 2007 to lobby Congress. This year SLDN will be sending hundreds of people to Capitol Hill to ask Congress to repeal the ban on gays serving openly in the military. Training for leaders of this effort will be conducted on Sunday March 25th, and the main body will converge on Capitol Hill on March 26th. If you are interested in the lobby effort, please contact bridgetaltenburg@hotmail.com.
If you can’t go to Washington to lobby, there are still many ways to help. You can write your Congressman/woman and ask him or her to support legislation to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” You can use this link: http://ga1.org/sldn/home.html to send an email to your member of Congress. You can donate to SLDN at this link: http://ga1.org/sldn/supportsldn.html. Finally, you can show your support by signing the Lift the Ban petition here http://ga1.org/campaign/Lift_the_Ban_Petition_March_2006.
To learn more about SLDN and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, check out their website www.sldn.org or contact Bridget Altenburg bridgetaltenburg@hotmail.com.
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